Hello, constituents, and shock news. We need to cap the number of free tins we can give the elderly.
Today I personally handed out 79 tins – peaches, pears and flageolets – to two OAPs! And they were married! They just keep taking! But they vote. It’s a dilemma. Especially when they’re so forgetful. Both Jessica and Reg kept calling me Caroline.
So Cathy at HQ says we’re capping the number of tins we hand out, with just one free hot drink (none if we can pretend they’ve already had one), and all without breaking our key manifesto pledge of tins for old votes.
It’s a pleasure to be your candidate.