Hello, constituents, and I’m delighted to announce a return to campaigning following the emergency dental treatment I had to undergo yesterday as a result of a crumbling molar and a bloody hard toffee Eclair.
Thanks go out to the homeless man whose name I didn’t get but who spotted my obvious agony and directed me to the nearest dental surgery. Why he knew where it was I have no idea. And like I tried to say, I really did have no change. Plus the price of any dentistry is extortionate, let alone emergency crowns.
So, onward to today’s key speech. I’ll be delivering it in the British Airways i360 with ‘complimentary fizz and flan’ later this afternoon. And yes, I have prepared a longer version, if, fingers crossed, we get stuck in the air for a couple of hours.
If you do happen to be lucky enough to be in the pod for the speech, please listen, pay attention, ask questions at the end, if they’ve been vetted by Cathy beforehand, and enjoy!
I’ve sent out a press release to the Argus, but should they not print it, I’ll post the speech here later. It’s a winner.
It’s a pleasure to be your newly-crowned candidate.